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Stopping the Cycle of Abuse Safety during a violent incident • If an argument seems unavoidable, try to have it in a room or area that has access to an exit and not in the bathroom, kitchen, or anywhere near weapons. Keep at least 3 feet away when in a heated conversation. • Practice how to get out of your home safely. Identify which doors, windows, elevator, or stairwell would be best. • Have a packed bag ready and keep it in an undisclosed but accessible place in order to leave quickly. • Identify a neighbor you can tell about the violence and ask that they call the police if they hear a disturbance coming from your home. • Devise a code word to use with your children, family, friends, and neighbors when you need the police. • Decide and plan where you will go if you have to leave home (even if you don't think you will need to leave home). • Use your own instincts and judgment. If the situation is very dangerous, consider giving the abuser what he wants to calm him down. You have the right to protect yourself until you are out of danger. Don't lecture, preach, put down, belittle, blame, threaten or argue with the abuser when they are angry. You may feel better, but the situation will be worse. • Don't fight back or throw the first punch. This leads to more violence. • If the abuser "gets in your face" yelling, close your eyes and don't respond. • Don't lose your temper and thereby destroy yourself. It will only be turned around against you. • Always remember - You don't deserve to be hit or threatened! |